yo yo yo ! now is cny le.. got happy and unhappy things la.. =DD

happy things is met up with a lot of relatives, watched a couple of shows with unbelievably crazy storyline. like right now there's the 大丈夫 on channel 8.. super funny.. haha ! got quite a few ang baos too..

unhappy things will be how my parents behaved for the past two days, how inefficient adults can be when we, the younger generation, are always expected to be highly efficient. ate a tonne of food also.. feeling very sinful now.. =( hee !

anyone knows where to get those casual pumps? joleen wants a pair of plain black ones.. but it seems pretty hard to find lehs.. im not really going to shops yet.. just asking around.. contemplating whether i should go out and look for em tmr and pass it to her on wed as a surprise or not lehs.

struggling with some thoughts now but concluded that i will not be able to get any answers from it. hence, stopped struggling le =D

i want to learn skating asap.

currently saving up for bday chalet, skates, china backpack trip and hongkong trip. anyone wanna sponsor me? =D

i suck at vball. Thanks to my team mates, i get a bronze medal. =D im not proud to say i've won a 3rd place in the interclass volleyball but im proud to say my team won it. they are awesome. =D

wanted to blog about what i've heard and processed about love. but on 2nd thoughts, i shan't do that. because im still not matured enough to have a say on my views about love.

i've once let a lady down. i address her as a lady not because she's old but because she's matured. she's way way more matured than me and i dont deserve her. she loved me and i cant say i love her as much.

after letting her down, i start to realise my liking towards one of my colleague. she confessed her liking for me too. we got really close but because of my immaturity and impatience, i lost her. we were so close yet so far. things are looking better now though. shall see where we'll land.

a few months after our headless relationship, i met this girl who made me do alot of things i never would have done. not for any other girls. only her. i was confused. i know i like her but it feels different from the way i feel when i like other girls. i can do the sweetest things for her so naturally that i never doubted my actions when i do it. unlike when im with my colleague. when i was with my colleague, i always felt bad about the things i do because we have to keep things wrapped. yet with this girl, i just do what i want to do when i want to do it. like buying her supper when she randomly say she craves for fish soup beehoon at 3am and sending to her doorstep. i never had a single doubt in my heart nehs ! however, people around me are saying that she's not the one for me.

and until now, i have no more relationships with any girls le. right now, my colleague is asking me if i want to go to her hometown with her. she was supp to return to her hometown in may for a month. but i told her i was unable to make it. cause my vacation is from mid feb to mid april. and now she changed her leave to mid april to mid may. which i may be able to go ! wonder if its on deliberate or just coincidence =D

been trying to meet the girl again. however to no avail cause our times clashes. both of us are pretty occupied by things like school and friends. well, we'll see how it goes !

as for the lady whom i've let down. i have nothing more to say for anything i say now will be meaningless.

thanks eliz for enlightening me so much on so many things. nice to have a sister like you ! =D much loves.

tata.

just cooked dinner for myself ! =D had quite a fun time..

cooking is actually quite easy la.. first step is just to get yourself in the mood..

reflections on my 1st attempt to cook :

chicken chop was rubbed with salt, white pepper and L&P's Worcestershire sos. then left in fridge for about...... 7-8 hours.. * cause i marinated it like early in the morning and cooked it only in the late evening.. not sure if the time affects the taste a lot * cooking it is easy, just pour a lil bit of oil in the pan and pan-fry it till cooked. have to poke the areas with thicker chunks of meat to ensure the whole chicken is cooked.

the spaghetti on the other hand was a lil more troublesome.. have to do the sauce and the pasta at the same time then ensure the consistency and taste of the sauce. this time the sauce was a lil too sour. not sure if its just the taste of the sauce or its cause i didn't dilute it with water.. the pasta dries up very quickly too ! i had to like add quite a bit of oil to keep it moist.. not very healthy though.. have to try and find a way to keep it moist for storing in fridge for future use.. cant possibly cook pasta everytime a customer orders it ma.. too inefficient le.. gonna work on it..

overall not bad la =DD at least i can cook quite a bit.. oh ! my mom just told me i need to rinse the pasta with cold water then add either sesame oil or corn oil before i can keep it for future use one.. chay....

okay.. next time im gonna try learn the concept of doing sauces at my work place then come back and try again. =DD !!

so... conclusion of our one sided heated argument?

i should not toy with people's feelings and just find a girl who shares the same values and perspective of things and loves me to spend the rest of my life with.

so tempted to say it's easier said than done but saying that makes me feel like i concede defeat which i dont like. alot.

well, that night i sms-ed some people to ask for some negative views of me, it was to help me be more humble.. or at least i feel im starting to become too full of myself. it always happens like this. first i will become very good at things like almost everything i do will awe somebody somehow and start receiving praises, then i will start to get cocky and everything will just go downhill from there. and after weeks of emo-ing and doing wrong things, the cycle happens again. this time i manage to get out of the cycle. by getting some negative views from some people who meant to me or used to mean to me. =DD so glad.

those views also allowed me to do some reflections of myself. lets me think of areas which i need to improve on. like joleen says that my attitude to mike, our colleague, is bad and my standing posture during operation hours is bad. germaine says that sometimes i think im always right and sometimes i care but i just act like i dont. eliz says that im still not stable for relationships and has a problem with my choices of words.

i've already decided to speak to mike better and respect him more. i used to have problems with him because he's more "feminine" than usual guys and it sort of irritates me. =D standing posture is a small problem which can be rectified easily so not much of a concern.. maybe i should keep my predictions to myself and hopefully people will stop thinking that i always think that im right. *but sometimes its just that zhun what.. its just me believing myself.. =((* i realise that sometimes i care but i act like i dont its cause i felt that i didn't have the right to. like i'm not anybody to somebody and i feel that i was in no position to say anything to change anybody's mind. so.. yea.. think im doing something right.. as for still not stable for relationship, there's a few issues to this. first, its hard enough to find someone who shares the same values and perspective to things with me and secondly, its even harder to find someone at my age with that much maturity for us to make our relationship last till death..

i know that its wrong to like toy with other people's feelings as a form of experimenting in my quest to find the one suitable for me. and i feel lousy practising what other teens of my age is doing. dating for the sake of dating, having someone by my side for the sake of having her there. your one-sided heated argument woke me. thanks eliz =D

*one-sided heated argument = an argument between me and eliz with me with me knowing my mistakes halfway through and her emphasizing her points*

weee ! back to blogging again. =D

saw this two kids when i was crossing the road today.. the green man was flashing and they ran across the road. the lil boy told the girl " yay. im faster than you.. im faster than anyone in the world"

this statement blew my mind. it reminded me how innocent kids can be because they haven't seen much of this world. how minute they are, how ugly people can get and how dumbs adults can be.

then i read this personal message that my classmate had on his msn, " Sometimes I just wish I could forget everyone and everything that I've been in contact with. Life is so much simpler that way ". it got me thinking. would it really be better if life is that simple and you forget everyone and everything you've been through? my conclusion is no. i will be so insecure if i forget everything i know now. i will be so upset if i forget everyone that i met now. because i will just be so lonely and gullible and naive and innocent. all of which i cannot live with. its just me. i cannot live alone or live knowing that there are things going on under my nose and i got no idea of it.

i want to play. i want to play games that i already know how to play and is pretty good at it. at least i wont have to just keep losing. i want to try things thats i've been thinking of for some time now. things like new stunts in bball matches, roller blading, sprint rowing and ultimately, my "dream".

i thirst for fun....................